@hidayahzd

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Staying alone, at my best


I think i'm used to be alone. Not a loner but in a way, that having less friends and didnt like to be together with someone everyday. I have friends, a really good bunch of girlfriends. I love them, and i couldnt ask for more.

Being alone, make sure that no one can break my trust. I have this one point in life, which was last year, i decided to not being alone again. Which i allow few people into my life. Till this day, none of them stayed. 

The worst part, they broke the trust. And one thing learned, the trust can be never rebuild even if we love the person. Most of people I met, think that i have a happy life. I can see that, the outside of me shows that my life is almost at it best. 

But on the inside, i cant feel it. I cant feel that im happy. I cant see the faces, that i need, the people who i thought that would stay with me through this year. Its not i dont apreciate people who stayed, but its just sad to see people you wanted, unwanted you.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

December it is?


Loooooong time no write! So far, it has been a good year. 2015 had been a very great one, 2016 is not that though 🤗

Losing few friends last year, but this year I found few new friends that really worth keeping for hee. Never thought that I'll love them this much 😘

What happenned in June and July, all the conflicts and all the fights i did with Dani... lol, the lessons learned! The boy? We are back like usual but this feels towards him, fades sometimes 😔 If we never meant to be, then its okay. I put my trust on Allah.


We, the sidang team also had a catfight with the f5s but its okay, we arethe next f5 😜 whats good is, we finished the works!!! So glad. I love this people!!!!


Wednesday, July 13, 2016

June and July


June had been disaster. Ramadhan had been just fine but it takes time for me to get used with new classmates. Learning had been great. I understand most of the addmaths formula but its a bit difficult on chemistry. 

I applied for BWP. And I won the campaign. Thats creepy enough. Sometimes i just thought that i shouldnt apply any of this bkm but sometimes i just think that, if its not me, who else should be?

So i'm now the Bendahari. I applied for setiausaha but i...... omg why. Whatever just go with the flow.

            Oh, selamat hari raya!!!! 😙
July had been great so far. The only thing i was worried about was when i got back to school, what would everyone think of me and what would happen to my studies how would my friends would treat me are they going to treat me the same way omg this is worrying me so much.

What happenned on July? 

I officially got in bwp, got to work woth great people, got to see my sidang team take photos again, the friends i got fight 5 weeks ago yea we got back together but not as closed as we used to bcs i dont want to and the person i used chat but then i stopped because of some probs, niw we're back together as we used to but i wont believe him too much

Sorry for writing like this i just write what comes to mind 😋
Im now spending my 3 weeks aka first 2 weeks as bwp at Australia. They must be real mad. Im sorry but what else can i do? ☹️


All photos are taken by iPhone 5s and 6.



Friday, March 18, 2016

Random thoughts

In the other side of the world, no matter what age they are, they are killed. Yet they still have the spirit to fight. To stand for the sake of jihaad. For the sake of Islam. So many of them were killed every minutes. So many signs that Allah shows to us. So many signs that happenned to people around us. Yet we still scrolling on things we shouldnt scroll. Yet we are still struggling to find ways to comfort our girl/boyfriends while they are struggling to find ways to get foods. No wonder Nabi Muhammad so worried about us. Look at how lost we are.

Astaghfirullah.

May we can live in peace together no matter what religion and what skin colour we are.

Lost and sleepless nights.


Life at Muar without Aina is totally sad  Eventho I have Balqis :( I feel like I didnt manage time to be together like we used to. Form 4 life is totally a busy and tiring year. The first 3 months had been really tiring and I hope I can adapt with this. Maths and addmaths are getting really really hard without Aina. I seriously need her back!! I miss everyone and eveything back in the days in 2015. Even the ones that i cried and sigh to.

Sometimes I feel like giving up but then I remembered that I once told a story about Hajar and her Sa'i at surau on January.

I really miss everyone. Siblings and Fairuz 1315. I'm so lost. And its like im falling apart.

May all this hardworks, tears, and sleepless nights will be paid off soon xx